The long wait
And so it begins, this long year, this year of interminable gloom, of a sky that is seemingly never not overcast. All life is one of disappointment. For those of us born unlucky, our lives were charted out long ago and the constellations only say one thing: prepare yourself, for nothing is ever going to go your way.
I suppose I should’ve gotten used to it, I suppose I should’ve let my pessimism take due course. But just once, just this once, I wanted to hope for the best, because maybe things would work out. That was a mistake, and I’ve learned my lesson. There’s nothing great about having a positive attitude and when you dream big you almost always wake to the harsh light of rejection. Keep yourself grounded, don’t shoot for the stars. Learn who you are and sometimes, just come to terms with the fact that maybe you’re just not good enough, maybe you will be one of those people who will die in obscurity, alone and lonely. That has to be someone, why not you, why not me?
Another year. If I am to get through it, there are a few things I must tell myself. First, that anything worth having is worth waiting for. And second, if you can’t fix it, you’ve got to stand it.